*slam*

I've just closed one dead-end door......and about to walk through a new door.

I think it's time.

Lions, tigers and bears, oh my~

If the elephants have past lives,
Yet are destined to always remember,
It's no wonder how they scream,
Like you and I, they must have some temper.

And I am dreaming of them on the plains,
Dirtying up their beds,
Watching for some sign of rain
To cool their hot heads.

And how dare that you send me that card
When I'm doing all that I can do.
You are forcing me to remember
When all I want is to just forget you.

If the tiger shall protect her young,
Then tell me how did you slip by.
All my instincts have failed me for once
I must have somehow slept the whole night.

And I am dreaming of them with their kill,
Tearing it all apart,
Blood dripping from their lips,
And teeth sinking in to heart.

And how dare that you say you will call,
When you know I need some peace of mind..
If you had to take sides with the animals,
Won't you do it with one who is kind?

If the hawks in the trees need the dead,
If you're living you don't stand a chance.
For a time, though you share the same bed,
There are only two ends to this dance.

You can flee with your wounds just in time,
Or lie there as he feeds,
Watching yourself ripped to shreds
And laughing as you bleed.

So for those of you falling in love,
Keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right.
Throw yourself in the midst of danger,
But keep one eye open at night.

The end. Finish.

Angry banter. Funny banter. Harmless banter. Hurtful banter.

blue. anger. life. grief. freedom. Grey grey grey.

six years too long.
three years too late.

i am free. finally. and I feel fine.

eyes forward.

I think there's someone I'm missing.

No matter how hard to try to keep my eyes ahead, the creeping fingers of ghosts past keep tap tap tapping on my shoulder.

quiet please. please.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

*cue* smile

Hangover

Last lifetime I almost overdosed on your love
Cos this time around I'm permanently tipsy

With your name on the tongue of my tip
Can't even speak right
Can't even sleep
And I'm missing your voice, your choice and thoughts
I guess I ought to stop looking for intoxication

No need to inflate this drumming in my brain
When I try to release this pain in my chest
I got to rest. I need to chill
I need to chill.

But then I see you smile
And all my hardwork ain't worthwhile anymore
Just a festering sore and no amount of drinking milk is going to calm it
Just drinking rum to block out some of your, some of you, summertime
Or at least I try

And at least a generation later I'm still trying to ease my soul
Ease my soul
Ease my soul

~Love Hangover
Jettrics feat. Adefunke

silence

I just need a little silence. Sometimes I have so much going on in my head I can't breathe. Whoever created the saying "it will heal with time" is an ignorant liar. It doesn't and nobody should fool themselves into thinking so. It just gets to the point where you don't think about it everyday but when you do, it hits you with the same lasting intensity.

I waited for my 16th, I waited for my puppy. It never came. I wanted you to hear me play. I was good. I wanted you to see me dance. I was good.

I miss the butterfly kisses, the graceful flutters, the warm cocoon.

Let go of me~~

I have a problem with detachment. I seem to lack this ability - horribly lack. Buddhists believe that attachment is the reason for all suffering in this world. I have to say that I can see where they're coming from, to a certain extent. The only reason we hurt, or get angry, upset, regretful, bitter and emotional about things is because we become attached. To work, to commodities, to people, to things.

Sometimes I wish I had a magical pair of scissors that allowed me to cut the string when the time came to do so. Instead of having to work through all the crap. Or I wish I was more like some of my friends who just wake up and it's gone - *poof* just like that.

It will be 3 years tomorrow. I really should get over it. He has.