On looking.

I've figured out why I dropped everything. I left my career, my friends, my family. I left them all behind and moved here to Taiwan, claiming I wanted to push myself out of my own comfort zone. That is partly true.

I am an independent woman at face level. I can be. But am I really? Can I really survive on my own, away from the people and the things that have always defined me? I've always defined myself in terms of who I am to other people, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a colleague and what they expected of me.

Away from these expectations, be them concrete or a figment of my imagination - will I still be the same person? Will I be more spontaneous? I certainly hope so. Will I be crazy and wild? Will I be demure and tame?

I've always played the role I needed to play in someone else movie. I'd like to star in my own movie now.

I think I've already managed to push myself out of the box a little. I've met friends through channels I thought I'd never explore, namely online and also reached out and made an effort to invest in these friendships.

I've met a boy, a boy who's younger than me albeit not by much but I've broken a golden rule I thought I'd never move on. Thing is, I don't even care really. It's not issue. This surprises me.

I've put myself out there to be judged and survived. In fact, I think I'm very very slowly learning that it's all in my head.

I need to learn to appreciate the little things and see the beauty around. Open my eyes. Cultivate curiosity.

Here's to curiosity.