Mindless driving

I used to drive. I had a habit of looking ahead and never concentrated on the here and now. One day while looking for a carpark, I did my usual routine: eyes forward, looking ahead, trying to spot a park and I very nearly hit a pedestrian after not stopping at the pedestrian crossing. It was then that I realised that I applied a very similiar philosophy to life. Always looking forward for a park...for a better park..for a closer and more convenient park. I felt that was in fact a very limited way of living.

I never appreciated the here and now, and still I struggle to learn to appreciate the people and opportunities that are here and now. So I've tried to force myself to slow down. I now take the bus. The only problem now is that I've swung 180 degrees to the extreme and i feel like I am now sitting on a bus waiting. Waiting for what, I'm not sure but as I wait I am watching the world pass by me in a blur.

The word that springs to mind to describe how I feel is "lukewarm". A wise man once told me "never to be lukewarm, be hot or cold, but never lukewarm. Lukewarm's boring." I'm neither hot nor cold, up nor down....here nor there. I'm just waiting....waiting for a flutter.